Funny Quotes

I don't care, it's funny because I know what's going to happen.
- said by Claudia in Foxy Brown

I'm funny! Maybe not in a humourous way [what way then!]
- said by Porter in Brothers Keeper

"Ed: I'm sorry Shaun. Shaun: No it's ok it's not your fault. Ed: No Shaun. I'm sorry. Shaun: Oh that isn't funny. Ed: I'll stop doing it when you stop laughing."
- said by Shaun/ Ed in Shaun Of The Dead

David Mills: Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people. John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets! David Mills: Murderers? John Doe: A woman... David Mills: Murderers, John, like yourself? John Doe: [interrupts] A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.
- said by David Mills, John Doe in Se7en

Don't get saucy with me, Bernaise. [must have taken them ages to come up with such a funny line as that which works on so many levels]
- said by Count De Money in History Of The World Part 1

Even your infantile penis jokes seem funny and witty this morning. [wow you must be desperate for humour max cos they are pathetic]
- said by Max in Grumpier Old Men

Every girl and woman loves a funny man, humour is one of the most important seduction techniques available to a man!
- said by Narrator in Funnyman

Funny how it is, that the morning after things always look so very different to how they did the night before.
- said by July in Morning After

Funny thing how he always strikes in the rain.
- said by Policeman in Follow Me Quietly

Have you lived in Blackpool all your life? [despite being called Funny Bones that's one of the most memorable lines...]
- said by Nicky in Funny Bones

He ought to look at a casualty list sometime - There's a lot of funny names there!
- said by Keeley in Crossfire

I don't think that this was such a good idea as it seemed at the time - isn't life funny like that!
- said by Ben in To Race The Wind

I guess I haven't seen you run before and I thought you were doing a funny run.
- said by Gina Vitale in Mickey Blue Eyes

If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it'd be curtains for us [is that one of the least funny jokes in the history of time?]
- said by Orville in Kiss Me Stupid

Isn't it funny - on the one lousy day you wanna put a gun in your mouth, everybody wants to come over to celebrate
- said by Joe Bella in Once Around

Isn't it funny - you hear a phone ringing and it could be anybody. But a ringing phone has to be answered, doesn't it?
- said by Caller in Phone Booth

It was quite funny to be in that situation that was no desperate yet so funny at the same time.
- said by Ned in Three Fugitives

It's a funny thing, how many people you meet in an army that cross your path for a few seconds and you never see them again
- said by Sergeant in Walk In The Sun

It's funny the evolution of marriage. First, a double bed, then twin beds, now separate rooms. [you old cynic you Carol]
- said by Carol Townsend in Easy To Love

It's funny, but practically all the people I know were strangers when I met them. [yes very funny Joyce!]
- said by Joyce in Blue Dahlia