Quotes:No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; "I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!"
She told me later, that the second she lifted up her foot and saw him not flapping, she knew he was dead. Is that not the perfect visual image of life and death? A fish flapping on the carpet, and a fish not flapping on the carpet.
I'm off to a BP garage for a mushroom slice.
I've been set some challenges, but I'm not sure how we're going to manage this one in time!
Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and died at the age of nine.
Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realizes what's truly important. Do you know what that is?
I say, marriage with Max is not exactly a bed of roses, is it?
Young men...
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step...
Average is just not good enough period.
Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails…. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth I bid you stand, Men of the West!
The
Age of Men is over. The Time of the Orc has come.
I wonder if people will ever say, 'let's hear about Frodo and the Ring.' And they'll say 'yes, that's one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he, Dad?' 'Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that's saying a lot.'
Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it.
This is just a dirty little village in the middle of nowhere. Nothing that happens here is really important
Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?
What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?
I think something bounced up into my undercarriage.
How does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district? He's grumpy, he's broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins...
In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.
Freakin'12 gage
I am a nice shark.
Not a mindless eating machine.
If i am to change this image, i must first change myself.
Fish are friends, not food!
"Any Moran with a box of matchs can light a fire. Raining down sulpher is an endurance trial. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer."
Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage
The most beautiful words in the English language are not 'I love you,' but 'it's benign.'
Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themself is the biggest decision of their life.
Old paint on canvas – as it ages – sometimes becomes transparent.
Christmas? Christmas means dinner, dinner means death! Death means carnage; Christmas means carnage!
It's a very awkward age for girls.
Really what age is that?
13 to 35, very awkward.
Forget about holding her hand, man. Think about the damage he could do other places.
Marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.
No, maybe there comes a time in every marriage when a guy considers it but not all of them give in to it, only 43%. Which I think is about to go up to 44%.
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