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We take Pete's car, we drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip - "I'm so sorry Phillip". - then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand!

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.

I pledge allegiance... to the band... of Mr. Schneebly... and will not fight him... for creative control... and will defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the band.

Please don't say such nice things about the kids. I cry too easily. Both in sorrow and in joy.

Someone has been pissing on my Gamecube and I'm about to close the case.

In the months leading up to my wedding, I was thinking about you all the time. I mean, even on my way there; I'm in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown and I'm staring out the window, and I think I see you, not far from the church, right? Folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli on the corner of 13th and Broadway. And I thought I was going crazy, but now I think it probably was you.

He couldn't get his judges appointed. He had trouble getting his legislation passed, and he lost Republican control of the Senate. His approval ratings in the polls began to sink. He was already beginning to look like a lame duck president. With everything going wrong, he did what any of us would do. He went... on vacation.

Man's got a right to protect his property and his life, and we ain't lettin' no rancher or his lawman take either.

This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.

Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over.

It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.

She told me later, that the second she lifted up her foot and saw him not flapping, she knew he was dead. Is that not the perfect visual image of life and death? A fish flapping on the carpet, and a fish not flapping on the carpet.

I've, uh, vertically integrated myself. You know, diversified and shit, and now I'm into the occasional grand larceny, home invasion... shit like that.

That's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.

Let me guess. You're a French aristocrat, she's a simple girl of the people, and she won't even give you a tumbrel. Hah!

You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule.

Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed.

Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh, my!

I love waking up in the morning not knowing where I'm gonna go or who I'm gonna meet. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge, and now here I am, on the grandest ship in the world, having champagne with you fine people.

You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell.

Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter.

In zen terms we are all just molecules. There's no difference between me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna...

What is all this whining about 'loving' and 'sharing' and not being whole without a partner? Let me tell you, I don't need anyone. I am quite capable of self-fulfilment.

My son has his hand glued to his penis.

She's (Elizabeth) safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington just like she promised and you get to die for her just like you promised, so we're all men our word really, except for Elizabeth who is in fact a woman.

The buildings are empty. Security and maintenance and all our people. We're not killing anyone, man, we're setting them free!

Hitting bottom is not a weekend-retreat, it's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying controlling everything and just let go. Let go!


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