Quotes:Woody, you're a great cartoonist, and you're a great comic book writer
I love it when you read to me, and you can read me anything. The book of love is long and boring, and written very long ago
He was an alcoholic, but homosexuals are very in now in movies and books and plays, so they changed it.
His book is called My Brother Pissed On Me. Is that a metaphor or did he really piss on you? [good question there Bill!]
I fear that the only way to stop those possessed by the spirits of the book is through the act of bodily dismemberment
Fahrenheit four five one is the temperature at which book paper catches fire and starts to burn.
As the good book says, when a poor man eats a chicken, one of them is sick.
I decided that since I didn't know myself I would write a guide book on it like all good true authors on a subject
Your private life has got to be an open book.
You gonna let them shoot your cows out from under you on account of a schoolbook disease?
There are mysterious parts in that book, but the only true mystery is that our very lives are governed by dead people.
You know, I stood next to a guy who blew up his suit once [and there was me thinking this was a book by Thomas Hobbes]
Fishing is the answer, the sales of fishing books are unparalelled and it makes it the world best sport!
Can you make money from philosophy? [the answer to that is no so don't even ask unless you write books!]
God came to me last night and told me your purpose for being here. I am going to help you write a new book.
You prefer a book to your husband's company? Well no wonder, I'm only flesh and blood - that's no match for the printed page
I'm sorry, the book says I must wait three months before I can initiate the procedure for hastening new issue.
Perhaps when we have made fire of the cart and eaten the horse and wiped our asses with the book, you'll become better acquainted with what you have caught
Rupert's extremely radical. Do you know that he selects his books on the assumption that people not only can read but actually can think?
How many of you have self-help books? OK that's your first problem. You can't help yourself, because your self sucks [shattering a billion dollar industry in the process]
I've been in the game long enough to know that I know every trick in the book, but there are still some more out there!
Well, I feel like a new woman. In fact, I feel like a new man. Bring me a telephone book.
One way or another, you get it back, or so it says in the
Book.
[on sympathy]
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