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Young boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older.

That's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.

It's Friday, it's Top of the Pops!

But first you have to give up. First, you have to know, not fear, know that someday you are going to die. Until you know that, you are useless.

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

They made us all train for this day. "To be fearless and proud and alone. To need no one, just sacrifice. All for the Fatherland." Oh God, all just empty words. It's not the way they said it was, is it? I just want someone to be with. The only thing I feel is afraid.

This is the worst day of my life!

What a day!

You there, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days.

If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day.

If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon... and for the rest of your life.

Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails…. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth I bid you stand, Men of the West!

Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east.

I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Death is... whimsical... today

Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft, rape, and murder. Do this and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today.

Wednesday, play with your food!

Look at that, Abu! It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!

The day I died was the day I started to live. [nope couldn't get much more cliched...]

Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today's codes?

I have been a law abiding citizen my whole life, and one day with you, I mean... shoot.

Water, with fish in it. Hedgehogs, I love hedgehogs. Marmite. Baths, but not with other people! Islands. I could go on all day.

If they can dye the river green today, why can't they dye it blue the other 364 days of the year?

My father died when I was thirteen and I inherited this money. Did you ever think that everyday I wake up, that I wish I could give it back, that I would give it back in a second, if it meant I could have one more day with him? But I can't. And that's my life and I deal with it.

Now the snarfblatt dates back to prehysterical times when humans used to sit around and stare at each other all day. Got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music.

Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.

Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people

You remember the day I went out for cigarettes and didn't come back? You must have noticed!

Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini? Well he wasn't like today's magicians who are only interested in television ratings. He was an artist. He could make an elephant disappear in the middle of a theater filled with people, and do you know how he did that? Misdirection.

One day, when my mother and father were singing together in the forest, a great storm blew up out of nowhere.


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