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They made us all train for this day. "To be fearless and proud and alone. To need no one, just sacrifice. All for the Fatherland." Oh God, all just empty words. It's not the way they said it was, is it? I just want someone to be with. The only thing I feel is afraid.

Now is the hour! Riders of Rohan! Oaths you have taken, now fulfill them all, to lord and land!

Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft, rape, and murder. Do this and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today.

Water, with fish in it. Hedgehogs, I love hedgehogs. Marmite. Baths, but not with other people! Islands. I could go on all day.

WE LANDED ON THE MOON!

This is an adventure island... you never know what is going to happen or what is going to go on here!

God made the land, whilst satan made the fences!

I will find the hidden treasure, I know I will. This is the land of the Minimoys.

If crash landing was unlucky, then how about crash landing in the middle of a storm?!

I never know how to dress in this bloody country. It is so easy to dress in England. You just put on warm clothing.

I have found land, somewhere that no-one else has been before.

Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud.

As they say, in the land of the blind, than the cyclops is king!

Wait a minute, so why do they call it Bear Island? [not a question you want to ask in a film, surely!]

Trouble with England, it's all pomp and no circumstance.

You can throw a stick up in the air and it'll land on a taxi or an ambulance. [bored when you noticed that, Nick?]

Och aye, and welcome kin to bonnay scotland!

Nobody dances like the British! They deserved the Falklands.

Take off your clothes. You want me to take them off for you? [good chat up line there garland]

When I came to england, I did not know that I would end up becoming a spy!

The problem with landing on venus is a simple one - if the temperature doesn't get you, the pressure will crush you so that you bleed through your skin

If you think we could be doing more to meet your needs, then I suggest you take it up with customer service after we land.

It hasn't always been easy to be an Irishman in Ireland. [really willie or is that just you?]

I'm in love with a girl, and I'm going to help hang her father. [largest non sequitur in movie land award goes to... Foreign correspondent]

What better job in all the world than build a bridge? Bring land over water. [don't wanna be controversial but we can come up with plenty better jobs...]

The bestial Yahoos fight for no reason all. While we on the order hand fight for very good reasons, such as, well, our enemies are weaker than us or we desire all their land.

The draft is white people sending black people to make war on the yellow people to defend the land they stole from the red people!

You're wasting our time, there's nothing on this island but sheep and rocks! [some countries turn that into a selling point]

Do you think I was unlucky to be landed with this surname for the whole of my life? [well you could always changed it by deedpole Stanley]

I'm not going to live Ma's life all over again, waiting on shore for a sailor who comes to land every three years


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