Quotes:I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
We take Pete's car, we drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip - "I'm so sorry Phillip". - then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
In zen terms we are all just molecules. There's no difference between me and the table, me and a tree, me and Madonna...
What is all this whining about 'loving' and 'sharing' and not being whole without a partner? Let me tell you, I don't need anyone. I am quite capable of self-fulfilment.
Why, you're crazy. Besides that, he's on a cliff where a whole army couldn't get at him.
If you let him testify at that hearing, the whole world will see what he's become. They should remember him for what he was.
If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day.
Cram it up your cramhole, Lafleur!
David Mills: Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people.
John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets!
David Mills: Murderers?
John Doe: A woman...
David Mills: Murderers, John, like yourself?
John Doe: [interrupts] A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.
"Don't make fun of my hobbies, I don't make fun of you for being an asshole"
I have been a law abiding citizen my whole life, and one day with you, I mean... shoot.
If I wasn't a key player in this whole conspiracy to brainwash the youth of America with rock music, we could totally date!
When your head says one thing and your whole life says another, your head always loses.
This is the story of the three Baudelaire children. Violet loved to invent; her brother, Klaus, loved to read; and their sister, Sunny... she loved to bite. My name is Lemony Snicket and it is my duty to tell you their tale. No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire, but just like that, the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans.
My dad just showed me the whole kingdom. And I'm gonna rule it all. Heheh.
Harsher punishment for parole violaters Stan... and world peace!
It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!
Boy, you need a role model.
Don't be fooled it isn't thunder, staying put would be a blunder
I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole.
What's my mother going to say? I've disgraced my whole family!
Banish yourself with a torch, large sack and rubber soled shoes; meanwhile I need a furrier, oh, and I know just where to find him, a-ha ha.
I am having a bad day! The worst damn day of my whole damn life! If it is not too much to ask will you all just back the fuck off!
What do you mean never to go know Norman? I knew Norman. I spent my whole life knowing him.
Your life could be a whole lot simpler if you could learn to operate a VCR.
If there are any teenage virgins listening, show up at KDRT right now with a jar of petroleum jelly, and ask to speak to Johnny Crunch.
Are we slipping into some black hole of hairless space?
Who won what? The asshole award? Let me tell you, it was a tie!
I hold my hands so tightly together that they begin to sweat. The skin cracks and peels at the centre of my palms. [hold them less tightly then, Jolene!]
Always take a throne when it is offered to you, Ptolemy!
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