Quotes:Okay, look, here's the deal. Man, you were gonna drive me around tonight, never be the wiser, but El Gordo got in front of a window, did his high dive, we're into Plan B. Still breathing? Now we gotta make the best of it, improvise, adapt to the environment, Darwin, shit happens, I Ching, whatever man, we gotta roll with it.
That's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.
You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule.
Even with my eyes wide open I can't see a thing.
My son has his hand glued to his penis.
The penguins are psychotic!
Gandalf didn't mean for a lot of things to happen sam; But they did.
We are the guardians of the sacred words: Ni,
Peng and Nee-wom
"I'm glad I'm so open about my sexuality that I'll wear this." (Referring to an apron)
I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed
This is just a dirty little village in the middle of nowhere. Nothing that happens here is really important
First rule in government spending: why build one when you can have two at twice the price?
What I do best. I'm gonna kill 'em. Anyone that was involved. Anybody who profited from it. Anybody who opens their eyes at me.
You never will. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you. Forever
When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened?
Maybe I'm spending too much of my time starting up clubs and putting on plays. I should probably be trying harder to score chicks.
You never will. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you. Forever.
Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happend.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
I spend half the night talking to some girl, who’s looking around the room to see if there’s someone more important she should be talking to. And I’m supposed to be happy, ‘cause she’s wearing a backpack
I spend half the night talking to some girl, who’s looking around the room to see if there’s someone more important she should be talking to. And I’m supposed to be happy, ‘cause she’s wearing a backpack.
Most things in life, good and bad, just kinda happen to ya!
What happened to that nice girlfriend of yours?
Oh, she's dead. She got hit by a car.
Don't open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested!
She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen
Anyone who spends a significant amount of time with me finds me disagreeable
Griffin was a mortician in civilian life, and he seemed to be spending most of his military life producing work for his army counterparts
What do you mean never to go know Norman? I knew Norman. I spent my whole life knowing him.
This is the story of a summer, and what happened then - the tale of a Summer.
Sometimes things happen between people that make it impossible for them to stay together.
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