Quotes:He couldn't get his judges appointed. He had trouble getting his legislation passed, and he lost Republican control of the Senate. His approval ratings in the polls began to sink. He was already beginning to look like a lame duck president. With everything going wrong, he did what any of us would do. He went... on vacation.
I've, uh, vertically integrated myself. You know, diversified and shit, and now I'm into the occasional grand larceny, home invasion... shit like that.
Let me guess. You're a French aristocrat, she's a simple girl of the people, and she won't even give you a tumbrel. Hah!
Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter.
Tell him the liberator who destroyed my property has re-aligned my paradigm of perception.
Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
We have a new record. Cue the cheesy inspirational music.
We've digested, cogitated and deliberated.
Just the basics of like kung fu, karate, judo, kendo, anything-you-can-do and 'tai chi'.
Men are rats. Listen to me, they're fleas on rats. Worse than that, they're amoebas on fleas on rats.
David Mills: Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people.
John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets!
David Mills: Murderers?
John Doe: A woman...
David Mills: Murderers, John, like yourself?
John Doe: [interrupts] A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsiously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Sir I just wanna say thank you . . . You saved my life.
[After falling off horse] That was deliberate, it was deliberate.
I don't rattle, kid. Just for that I'll beat you flat.
Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?
Murder's a new trick for a robot, congratulations.
Will was so frustrated with how my lima beans grew faster than his. And that's when I finally told him about my powers
I'd rather have em playin with their toys than playin with themselves.
Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini? Well he wasn't like today's magicians who are only interested in television ratings. He was an artist. He could make an elephant disappear in the middle of a theater filled with people, and do you know how he did that? Misdirection.
Pigs: an omnivorous, domesticated, cloven hoof vertebrate that defecates the same place it consumes
All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates. Which means that all men are homosexuals!!!
I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special...
I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it. One.
Your father appears to be co-operating. You will be back with him soon. Won't that be nice?
How's the rat business?
Well, actually it's mostly students I'm experimenting on now.
Karate come from China, sixteenth century.
I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps!
As usual, the Republicans come up with a plan while the Democrats wander aimlessly in the woods.
Verbal ability is a highly over-rated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.
Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
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