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Prison life consists of routine, and then more routine.

This is the story of the three Baudelaire children. Violet loved to invent; her brother, Klaus, loved to read; and their sister, Sunny... she loved to bite. My name is Lemony Snicket and it is my duty to tell you their tale. No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire, but just like that, the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans.

My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you.

I knew you were no match to me. But you insisted on giving me your life.

This is said to us, even as this counterfeit president has legalised the Confederate Flag in Mississippi.

Positive thinking is fine in theory. But whenever I try it on a systematic basis... I end up really depressed.

Brother and sister should always be there for each other, but are not always!

Why can't we marry? Ator, we are brother and sister. [ok so that's quite a good excuse as reasons go there sunya!]

These two Latina sisters - we are doing it for ourselves!

I believe that it is a gift, this success that I have with women and their inability to resist me

When it is blurred and you can see more than one of everything there is only one diagnosis: double vision!

Just because you're fuc*ing my sister doesn't mean you're part of the family. [keith, language, please!]

I can't belive it, I thought he loved me - and then I catch him cheating with my sister!

Metamorphosis! Vegetables are turning into men! [keep taking those pills please doc]

The next thing you're out on the boulevard and you're dressed like the Pointer Sisters. [the who?]

The answer to that is persistence and the hope that sooner or later something will turn up, some tiny lead that can grow into a warm trail and point to the cracking of a case

Their only stock in trade consists of having large numbers of ragged kids. [but apart from that wonderful, is it, wolcott?]

My voice is raised in emphasis. It's a perfectly legitimate use of volume.

You have fantasised quite convincingly that you have rented an apartment that in fact belongs to somebody else.

You are mother, sister, lover, friend, angel, devil, earth, home. [that's quite a few jobs there!]

The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the genesis of my lifeform

A man with a thousand faces is someone who has a certainly acute identity crisis.

You're my sister. You're supposed to be on my side!

The bells, the bells... I hear them come a calling and feel strangely powerless to resist

Europe will insist on disarmament, leaving every border undefended for you to walk across at will

Wesley, you stay out of the living room. Your sister is entertaining a caller

Let's try and make an effort to be consistently nice to people, and see how long it lasts!

Being a fashion photographer has its obvious benefits in terms of the sorts of people you meet on a daily basis

I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.

Do you think anything might tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined, perhaps for ever, the happiness of a most beloved sister?


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