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I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over.

Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few ball games, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.

I tend to be impulsive in these matters... like the time I asked Virginia Woolf to marry me.

The worst part about being you is pretending to be so bad in bed!

You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

Since I cannot rouse heaven I intend to raise hell.

This is my hen night and I intend to have the time of my life girls!

This is my hen night and I intend to have the time of my life girls!

I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.

Do you realise our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?

Why are we pretending your bag isn't buzzing? You bought a vibrator. [very naughty, sheila]

Joining this force has been my life's mission, and now that I am a member I intend to give it my all to stop these criminals

We could give this country the biggest stick in the playground, and I intend to do that.

Great aunt Olivia what happened to her, well that's what I intend to reveal here!

There is just a little bit of housekeeping to attend to and everything will be done just fine!

I allow no-one to attend my operations!

Being appointed the military governor means that I have many responsibilities to the prime minister which I intend to perform dutifully.

A difficult client can make things most distressing. Some of them tend to be very hysterical - so inconsiderate.

Stories don't always end where their authors intended [though they have no truth outside the confines of what the author has written]

The only problem with glasses is that they tend to fly off when a woman slaps you

Working from 9 - 5 is pretty hard work, especially with most modern employers where the day extends a few more hours

Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.

When you are a tramp people tend to think of you differently Gino, even looking as handsome as you do

Now, remember: you don't aim a gun at a man unless you intend to shoot him.

When the bell rings twice then you know it is the postman or someone who is pretending to be the postman

I just want you to know that I don't intend to sleep with another woman until I'm back here in your arms with my head resting between your creamy thighs

We could give this country the biggest stick in the playground, and I intend to do that.

I got an idea: why don't I pretend I'm sick, and then you can attack the guard when they come in?

This is a tough industry to get into but I intend to take a few steps up the musical ladder this year


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