Quotes:David Mills: Wait, I thought all you did was kill innocent people.
John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? An obese man... a disgusting man who could barely stand up; a man who if you saw him on the street, you'd point him out to your friends so that they could join you in mocking him; a man, who if you saw him while you were eating, you wouldn't be able to finish your meal. After him, I picked the lawyer and I know you both must have been secretly thanking me for that one. This is a man who dedicated his life to making money by lying with every breath that he could muster to keeping murderers and rapists on the streets!
David Mills: Murderers?
John Doe: A woman...
David Mills: Murderers, John, like yourself?
John Doe: [interrupts] A woman... so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer, a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.
They come with fire, they come with axes. Gnawing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning. Destroyers and usurpers, curse them!
If I wasn't a key player in this whole conspiracy to brainwash the youth of America with rock music, we could totally date!
Ogres are like onions, they have layers.
Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!
Designer drugs, boy! Wave of the future! And as legal as whores and lawyers in this state!
There's a difference between having morals and being a lawyer!
First she steals my publicity. Then she steals my lawyer, my trial date. And now she steals my goddamn garter.
Under the circumstances, we will forego the sermon and conclude this service with a brief word of prayer.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more
I'm just there minding my own business and suddenly some crackpot bored lawyers come along...
I want the best goddamn lawyer that money can buy!
The odds of a plaintiff's lawyer winning in civil court are two to one against.
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players
Not time for prayer? Not time to sing the praises of the Lord? One's duty to the Lord must take precedence, must it not?
At that price, the customer knows exactly what he is going to get. [buyer beware then!]
I will defend my town to the end I tells yer I ain't stepping down no cattlemen that's for rootin' tootin' sure!
If we are ever to have law and order in the West, the first thing we gotta do is take out all the lawyers
Never hire a lawyer who is in love with you; they will lose their sense of perspective though there are some advantages too!
One of the players Robbie played with got carried away and killed him.
She's going out with some baseball player called Greg Barnett
We're not athletes, we're baseball players! [at least he is aware of his true status]
Working from 9 - 5 is pretty hard work, especially with most modern employers where the day extends a few more hours
It's immoral. A distinction with no relevance to lawyers. But it matters to me.
Being a partner of a business like this, being a lawyer, it sure toughens you up
My dad hated lawyers. You might think I became one just to piss him off, but you'd be wrong.
I know how hard you've been praying: and now God is answering your prayers.
The shark slayer has done it again, this time luring two sharks into his death trap of hygiene.
There's not much more to say is there, other than I think we need to say a prayer about now!
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